Alright, traders, let me introduce you to the one, the only—Grandpa Tom. Now, Grandpa Tom isn’t your run-of-the-mill market enthusiast. No, he’s *literally* a candlestick. Yep, the kind you see on charts. And before you ask—yes, he walks around on a wooden candlestick, because apparently, irony is his thing.
Tom owns a candy store, which might sound wholesome, but don’t be fooled. He’s not there for the candy—it’s just a cover for his real passion: Bitcoin. This guy is *obsessed*. He doesn’t even sell candy half the time; he just uses it as bait to lecture unsuspecting customers about “the future of money.”
“Bitcoin’s the answer to everything!” he bellows at anyone within earshot. Kid buying gum? “Save that quarter, son, and buy Satoshis!” Grandma grabbing a bag of peppermints? “Forget peppermints, buy Bitcoin before it’s too late!” I even caught him offering a customer a discount if they’d buy his overpriced chocolate coins with crypto.
And let me tell you, Grandpa Tom *hates* being wrong. I’ve tried to warn him—nicely, mind you—that maybe, just *maybe*, screaming “BUY NOW!” when Bitcoin is already hitting all-time highs isn’t the best idea. But Tom? He just rolls his eyes and mutters something about “paper hands” and how I’ll regret doubting him when Bitcoin hits “a bajillion dollars.”
So, that’s Grandpa Tom for you. A walking candlestick, a candy-store cryptomaniac, and the self-declared prophet of Bitcoin. Love him or hate him, you’ve got to admit—he’s more entertaining than half the trading community. Just don’t let him talk you into buying his chocolate coins—they’re definitely not backed by blockchain.